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1st time in a bar in years.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 338LAPUASLAP Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/31/2013 at 20:36
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I walked in and saw a decent looking big boned chick dancing on a pool table.

I said to her, "Great legs".

She giggled and while blushing said, " Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely!" hmm "Most tables would have collapsed by now!"

Needless to say I am done going to bars for a few more years.

I don't hit women...
If you have the reticle to the Left PM me. If you want to know why PM me. This was the best Reticle I have ever utilized.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/31/2013 at 20:59
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You should be a diplomat...
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

If we don't change the world... someone else will...
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stickbow46 Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/31/2013 at 21:42
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338 guess you didn't have a leg to stand on with that one Whacko
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeltFed Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2013 at 07:05
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I gotta wipe spit off the screen.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tman1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2013 at 11:57
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sounds like you might have gotten "swept off your feet " Big Grin
Sometimes my tongue outruns my brain and I say something I haven't thought of yet!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 338LAPUASLAP Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2013 at 19:51
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Well even though I am married I  went with a buddy and was talking to a another girl while he was hitting on her friend and she decided to tell me "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut you'd look alright."

I politely told her "If I did that, I'd be talking to those good looking girls over there instead of you."
If you have the reticle to the Left PM me. If you want to know why PM me. This was the best Reticle I have ever utilized.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 338LAPUASLAP Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2013 at 20:01
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Guys, I am married with 2 5 yr old special needs kids.  I don't have the time to go to bars with friends, I would never dis respect a woman like that.

Stole them both from a co-worker.

I was just trying a crack at humor something missing from my personality.  I have a rather large gap in my brain for humor.




Edited by 338LAPUASLAP - February/05/2013 at 14:33
If you have the reticle to the Left PM me. If you want to know why PM me. This was the best Reticle I have ever utilized.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote trojan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2013 at 23:17
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Originally posted by 338LAPUASLAP 338LAPUASLAP wrote:

Common guys, I am married with 2 5 yr old special needs kids.  I don't have the time to go to bars with friends, I would never dis respect a woman like that.

Stole them both from a co-worker.

I was just trying a crack at humor something missing from my personality.  I have a rather large gap in my brain for humor.


Both of those were great:)
I hear ya on the special needs kids, I have a 16 year old myself.
To be prepared for War is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.
George Washington
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote koshkin Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 01:59
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Originally posted by 338LAPUASLAP 338LAPUASLAP wrote:

Common guys, I am married with 2 5 yr old special needs kids.  I don't have the time to go to bars with friends, I would never dis respect a woman like that.

Stole them both from a co-worker.

I was just trying a crack at humor something missing from my personality.  I have a rather large gap in my brain for humor.



Ah, humor is overrated anyway.

I limit it to a joke every couple of years or so and if noone calls the bomb squad, i call it a success.

ILya
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Those who are merciful to the cruel, are cruel to the merciful. Talmud
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 05:50
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This guy walks into a bar sits down orders a drink and spots two very attractive
ladies down at the end of the bar...

calls the bartender over and say give those girls down there a drink on me... bartender says to him save your money they are lesbians.. he says no problem give them a drink.... bartender gives them a drink and they both wave a thank you to him....

well he finally works up the courage and he slides down the bar and says............

So how are things in Lebanon !

Peddler CoolCoolCool
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeltFed Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 06:12
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I worked in a district that was made up of 70% unemployed comedians and 30% professional hecklersBandito
I'm not an expert. I'm not even a current pert, but I am a prepert.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 06:54
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show me your sheep!!

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And a want to be keystone cop... Whistling
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 07:00
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Optics Master Extraordinaire
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Originally posted by Peddler Peddler wrote:

This guy walks into a bar sits down orders a drink and spots two very attractive
ladies down at the end of the bar...

calls the bartender over and say give those girls down there a drink on me... bartender says to him save your money they are lesbians.. he says no problem give them a drink.... bartender gives them a drink and they both wave a thank you to him....

well he finally works up the courage and he slides down the bar and says............

So how are things in Lebanon !

Peddler CoolCoolCool


LOL. At times, I may be a lesbian too. LOL. Big Grin
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stickbow46 Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 10:12
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Bugs was that lesbian or Thespian [:}
Pearls of Wisdom are Heard not Spoken
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonoMT Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 10:18
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For a guy missing a funny bone, they were pretty good jokes. Thanks Stevo.
Some learn by reading. A few by observation. The rest of 'em have to pee on the electric fence.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 11:45
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show me your sheep!!

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Originally posted by stickbow46 stickbow46 wrote:

Bugs was that lesbian or Thespian [:}
 
 
Thats not cool!!!  Don't you think they have enough problems without having a lisp too?!?!?!? Cool
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 338LAPUASLAP Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 12:44
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So One of the comments another chick had after my comments to her friends was this "So is that Bud light or Corona in there?" looking at my beer belly, I told her "there's a tap underneath, If you wanna find out."
If you have the reticle to the Left PM me. If you want to know why PM me. This was the best Reticle I have ever utilized.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 13:34
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Laugh Above
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 338LAPUASLAP Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 13:51
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If you have the reticle to the Left PM me. If you want to know why PM me. This was the best Reticle I have ever utilized.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 13:54
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Originally posted by stickbow46 stickbow46 wrote:

Bugs was that lesbian or Thespian [:}


Begins with an "L" as is lick. Cool
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stickbow46 Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 15:21
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WOW I thought you were acting out Clown
Pearls of Wisdom are Heard not Spoken
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 15:25
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Originally posted by bugsNbows bugsNbows wrote:

Originally posted by stickbow46 stickbow46 wrote:

Bugs was that lesbian or Thespian [:}


Begins with an "L" as is lick. Cool


Don'tcha just love the " L" word !!!!!

Peddler Cool Cool Cool
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tman1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/05/2013 at 16:36
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Originally posted by 338LAPUASLAP 338LAPUASLAP wrote:

So One of the comments another chick had after my comments to her friends was this "So is that Bud light or Corona in there?" looking at my beer belly, I told her "there's a tap underneath, If you wanna find out."
Roll on Floor Laughing......Roll on Floor Laughing
Sometimes my tongue outruns my brain and I say something I haven't thought of yet!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alan Robertson Quote  Post ReplyReply     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/12/2013 at 13:42
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I actually went to a bar the other night which turned out to be just about the hottest trendy new place in town. You could add the ages of any 2 of those kids up and they'd still not be as old as me... could have been any of 'ems Daddy (might be).
Anyhow, it's been a long time since I've seen so many incredibly fabulous women in one place.
I tried talking to a few of them- they had to be at least 23, but who can tell?
 I decided that they looked like they were talking to me out of charity... maybe I was just incomprehensible (reprehensible?) to them.
They are still in that phase of life where they are ruled by the need to breed, while I'm past that and in the phase where I am paying for my sins.
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
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show me your sheep!!

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So your married, huh....... Wink
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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