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1st time in a bar in years. |
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338LAPUASLAP
Optics Master Scope Swapper Joined: October/17/2009 Status: Offline Points: 2596 |
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Posted: January/31/2013 at 20:36 |
I walked in and saw a decent looking big boned chick dancing on a pool table.
I said to her, "Great legs". She giggled and while blushing said, " Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely!" hmm "Most tables would have collapsed by now!" Needless to say I am done going to bars for a few more years. I don't hit women...
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No one
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Kickboxer
MODERATOR Moderator Joined: February/13/2008 Status: Offline Points: 23679 |
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You should be a diplomat...
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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.
There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living |
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stickbow46
Optics Master Extraordinaire Joined: January/07/2009 Location: Benton, Pa Status: Offline Points: 4678 |
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338 guess you didn't have a leg to stand on with that one
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Pearls of Wisdom are Heard not Spoken
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BeltFed
Optics Retard Joined: February/12/2008 Location: Ky Status: Offline Points: 22284 |
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I gotta wipe spit off the screen.
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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
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tman1965
Optics Master Joined: July/20/2010 Location: South Georgia Status: Offline Points: 1456 |
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sounds like you might have gotten "swept off your feet "
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Sometimes my tongue outruns my brain and I say something I haven't thought of yet!
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338LAPUASLAP
Optics Master Scope Swapper Joined: October/17/2009 Status: Offline Points: 2596 |
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Well even though I am married I went with a buddy and was talking to a another girl while he was hitting on her friend and she decided to tell me "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut you'd look alright."
I politely told her "If I did that, I'd be talking to those good looking girls over there instead of you." |
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No one
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338LAPUASLAP
Optics Master Scope Swapper Joined: October/17/2009 Status: Offline Points: 2596 |
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Guys, I am married with 2 5 yr old special needs kids. I don't have the time to go to bars with friends, I would never dis respect a woman like that.
Stole them both from a co-worker. I was just trying a crack at humor something missing from my personality. I have a rather large gap in my brain for humor. Edited by 338LAPUASLAP - February/05/2013 at 14:33 |
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trojan73
Optics Apprentice Joined: September/18/2012 Location: flagstaff Status: Offline Points: 108 |
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I hear ya on the special needs kids, I have a 16 year old myself.
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To be prepared for War is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.
George Washington |
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koshkin
MODERATOR Dark Lord of Optics Joined: June/15/2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 13181 |
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Ah, humor is overrated anyway. I limit it to a joke every couple of years or so and if noone calls the bomb squad, i call it a success. ILya
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Peddler
Optics God Joined: July/04/2012 Location: Oswego,NY Status: Offline Points: 13526 |
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This guy walks into a bar sits down orders a drink and spots two very attractive
ladies down at the end of the bar... calls the bartender over and say give those girls down there a drink on me... bartender says to him save your money they are lesbians.. he says no problem give them a drink.... bartender gives them a drink and they both wave a thank you to him.... well he finally works up the courage and he slides down the bar and says............ So how are things in Lebanon ! Peddler |
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When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.
It is the same when you are stupid. |
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BeltFed
Optics Retard Joined: February/12/2008 Location: Ky Status: Offline Points: 22284 |
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I worked in a district that was made up of 70% unemployed comedians and 30% professional hecklers
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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
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budperm
Optics Retard show me your sheep!! Joined: January/01/2009 Location: Pennsylvania Status: Offline Points: 31710 |
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And a want to be keystone cop...
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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson |
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bugsNbows
Optics God bowsNbugs Joined: March/10/2008 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 11200 |
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LOL. At times, I may be a lesbian too. LOL. |
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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
Anomymous |
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stickbow46
Optics Master Extraordinaire Joined: January/07/2009 Location: Benton, Pa Status: Offline Points: 4678 |
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Bugs was that lesbian or Thespian [:}
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Pearls of Wisdom are Heard not Spoken
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jonoMT
Optics Master Extraordinaire Joined: November/13/2008 Location: Montana Status: Offline Points: 4853 |
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For a guy missing a funny bone, they were pretty good jokes. Thanks Stevo.
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Reaction time is a factor...
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budperm
Optics Retard show me your sheep!! Joined: January/01/2009 Location: Pennsylvania Status: Offline Points: 31710 |
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Thats not cool!!! Don't you think they have enough problems without having a lisp too?!?!?!?
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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson |
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338LAPUASLAP
Optics Master Scope Swapper Joined: October/17/2009 Status: Offline Points: 2596 |
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So One of the comments another chick had after my comments to her friends was this "So is that Bud light or Corona in there?" looking at my beer belly, I told her "there's a tap underneath, If you wanna find out."
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No one
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supertool73
Optics God Superstool Joined: January/03/2008 Status: Offline Points: 11814 |
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Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.
"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own." |
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338LAPUASLAP
Optics Master Scope Swapper Joined: October/17/2009 Status: Offline Points: 2596 |
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No one
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bugsNbows
Optics God bowsNbugs Joined: March/10/2008 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 11200 |
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Begins with an "L" as is lick. |
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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
Anomymous |
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