OpticsTalk by SWFA, Inc. Homepage SWFA     SampleList.com
Forum Home Forum Home > Everything Else > The Ed Show
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Dear Ed....
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Visit the SWFA.com site to check out our current specials.

Dear Ed....

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 6>
Author
Message
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:47
Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

Dear Ed
The other night my wife gave me baked beans, black eyed peas, and sloppy joes for supper. Needless to say, I got a bad case of gas. I had to attend a funeral for a friend's brother and while viewing the body I had to relieve the pressure or die. Since I was the only one viewing the body at the time eased out the built up pressure. Just then a fat lady came up to view the body, and started sniffing the air. She said the funeral home didn't do a very good job of embalming the body and they needed more flowers. Should I have told the lady that it wasn't the body stinking up the place, or should I have told I was going to order a floral arrangement?
signed
Deadly Silent 


I don't know. I was in the parking lot across the street by the time the lady came up.   
Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 13:07





              








Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
RifleDude View Drop Down
MODERATOR
MODERATOR
Avatar
EVIL OPPRESSOR

Joined: October/13/2006
Location: Texas
Status: Offline
Points: 16337
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RifleDude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 14:10
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:

Originally posted by RifleDude RifleDude wrote:

Dear Ed,
Rumor has it you're a genie who can grant wishes. Is this true?

Wishin' in Witchita




Dear Wish-ita, 
 

Not so!!  I wished that my thread would kill Critter Cookin' Café and look what happened! Smile

( Wishing for killing ATTENTION SPAMMERS next!! )  Bucky



DAMMIT! You sure about that?
Cuz I REALLY wish I was Denver Broncos' Wide Receiver Eric Decker!















Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 16:08
 







Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
kolo View Drop Down
Optics GrassHopper
Optics GrassHopper


Joined: June/28/2012
Location: sc
Status: Offline
Points: 17
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/08/2013 at 15:11
Have you heard this?

Vladimir Putin allegedly said off the record:
"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon. The pigeon knocks over all the pieces, craps on the board and then struts around like it won the game."
 
I can maybe see why O is saying he won't negotiate now - Putin must have made him cry....
Back to Top
Peddler View Drop Down
Optics God
Optics God
Avatar

Joined: July/04/2012
Location: Oswego,NY
Status: Offline
Points: 13526
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/08/2013 at 15:33
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:





























I like looking at them also!

Yippee
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.
Back to Top
bugsNbows View Drop Down
Optics God
Optics God
Avatar
bowsNbugs

Joined: March/10/2008
Location: North Georgia
Status: Offline
Points: 11200
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/08/2013 at 16:22
Dear Ed,
Is it ok to tell a friend (that constantly whines every day about his aches and pains, marriage, kids, MIL, etc) to STFU?
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/08/2013 at 19:44
Big Grin
Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
budperm View Drop Down
Optics Retard
Optics Retard
Avatar
show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Status: Offline
Points: 31710
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 06:01
WHeeeew!!!!  Thought you were goin to say politics there for a minute..... Mouth Taped Shut
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 06:11
 




































Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
BeltFed View Drop Down
Optics Retard
Optics Retard
Avatar

Joined: February/12/2008
Location: Ky
Status: Offline
Points: 22284
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeltFed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 08:51
Dear Ed
I have this dear sweet friend (I worry about him a little) that listens to me when the stress of my aches and pains, or my wife gets to me, or my MIL gets to me, or anything else that is bothering me. He is such a good listener and has such good patients with, but when I'm finally done explaining my situation to him, he tells me to STFU.
Do you think he has something going on in his life that needs looking into by a good friend like Bigdaddy, or do you think that he really doesn't GAS?
signed
B.G. Whinner 
Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
Back to Top
budperm View Drop Down
Optics Retard
Optics Retard
Avatar
show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Status: Offline
Points: 31710
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 09:43
.
 
 
 
        I'd say    STOP TALKING TO YOUR DOG.................  Smile
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



Back to Top
bugsNbows View Drop Down
Optics God
Optics God
Avatar
bowsNbugs

Joined: March/10/2008
Location: North Georgia
Status: Offline
Points: 11200
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 10:41
Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

Dear Ed
I have this dear sweet friend (I worry about him a little) that listens to me when the stress of my aches and pains, or my wife gets to me, or my MIL gets to me, or anything else that is bothering me. He is such a good listener and has such good patients with, but when I'm finally done explaining my situation to him, he tells me to STFU.
Do you think he has something going on in his life that needs looking into by a good friend like Bigdaddy, or do you think that he really doesn't GAS?
signed
B.G. Whinner 



LOL
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 16:12


" Dear B.G., 

" Show the guy a picture of Obama throwing a baseball----and get out of the way!! "  






 
Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 16:15
 








Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
cheaptrick View Drop Down
MODERATOR
MODERATOR
Avatar

Joined: September/27/2004
Location: South Carolina
Status: Offline
Points: 20844
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cheaptrick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/09/2013 at 16:21
The dreaded corn field......What a creepy kid. 
If at first you don't secede...try..try again.
Back to Top
cheaptrick View Drop Down
MODERATOR
MODERATOR
Avatar

Joined: September/27/2004
Location: South Carolina
Status: Offline
Points: 20844
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cheaptrick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/16/2013 at 15:26
Dear Ed,

Too much??



Signed,
Laffin in Little Rock
If at first you don't secede...try..try again.
Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/16/2013 at 16:43
 

" I don't really care for the sign interrupting the landscape.  I would forget about telling the public about your neighbor and just put a skull and some bones in the grass around your garden. Put a black mask on the skull....They'll get the idea. "  
Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
RifleDude View Drop Down
MODERATOR
MODERATOR
Avatar
EVIL OPPRESSOR

Joined: October/13/2006
Location: Texas
Status: Offline
Points: 16337
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RifleDude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/17/2013 at 09:51
Dear Ed...

I'm giving strong consideration to this offer. What do you think?


Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
Back to Top
Son of Ed View Drop Down
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Avatar

Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
Status: Offline
Points: 122178
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/17/2013 at 09:58







Visit the Ed Show
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 6>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.01
Copyright ©2001-2018 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.281 seconds.