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Dear Ed....
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Optics Retard
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show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
Location: Pennsylvania
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Points: 31552 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/04/2017 at 12:04
Take two AK-47s and call him in the morning....
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Optics Jedi Master
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Joined: January/08/2007
Location: Oklahoma
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Points: 7848 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 3_tens Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/04/2017 at 13:41
Now that's funny.  Excellent
Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.
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Joined: June/18/2011
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/04/2017 at 20:16
Originally posted by Kickboxer Kickboxer wrote:

Dear Ed,

 I have an AR, or two.  How can I fix this?  Is there any help for me???

Lost




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" Get some black rubber underpants and swim fins! " 
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Joined: October/31/2009
Location: Oklahoma
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Points: 1763 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alan Robertson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/21/2018 at 20:29
Dear Ed,
   My wife asked me that if she died and I got remarried, would I give her car to my new wife?
I told her, "No, she's got a Mercedes convertible".
Now, I'm in a jam.
What can I do?
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
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Joined: June/18/2011
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/21/2018 at 20:43
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" Tell her that you were eating peyote and thought she wanted a new convertible..." 







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Joined: June/18/2011
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/21/2018 at 20:45
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" ....then go down to the bank and crawl..." 
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Joined: February/13/2008
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Points: 23109 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/22/2018 at 03:36
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:

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" Tell her that you were eating peyote and thought she wanted a new convertible..." 







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I've read that book... "Die Lehren des Don Juan" Carlos Castaneda
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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Chuck Norris
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Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/22/2018 at 04:50
yes...Carlos Casta-Frauda.....
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Joined: October/31/2009
Location: Oklahoma
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Points: 1763 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alan Robertson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/23/2018 at 15:52
Dear Ed,
     Thanks for the advice, but I don't think it helped much.
You see, I was driving home tonight and saw my Mother in law in the driveway and it looked like she was holding a family size jar of Vicks Vaporub in one hand and a creosote fence post in the other.
I don't think she saw me before I detoured right quick down the alley behind Billy Bob's place.
I ain't goin' home while she's there, what can I do?
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
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bowsNbugs

Joined: March/10/2008
Location: North Georgia
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Points: 11021 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/23/2018 at 16:53
Go get drunk! Tell Billy Bob Skip (Peddler) says hello.
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
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Joined: July/04/2012
Location: Oswego,NY
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Points: 12600 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/23/2018 at 17:15
Huh? 🥃
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.
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Joined: June/18/2011
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/23/2018 at 17:48
(...just in case....try to get that Vicks out of her hand and exchange it with Vaseline!! ) Shocked
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Joined: October/31/2009
Location: Oklahoma
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Points: 1763 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alan Robertson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/13/2018 at 11:52
Dear Ed,
We were having a family dinner and my Mother- in- law kept going on and on about how much she likes her new broom. I couldn't help but ask her what kind of mileage she got and now I'm in real trouble.
What can I do?
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
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Joined: February/12/2008
Location: Ky
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Points: 21052 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeltFed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/13/2018 at 12:04
Ed, I don't know if this will help Alan, but Gina at Knob Creek Range gives broom driving lessons by appointment. You might recommend that if you think it's needed, but I yield to the experts.
Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
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Joined: June/18/2011
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/13/2018 at 13:17
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" Get her something from Fredrick's of Hollywood! " 





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Joined: June/18/2011
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/13/2018 at 13:19
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"....and a DVD of TOP GUN! " 








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Joined: October/31/2009
Location: Oklahoma
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Points: 1763 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alan Robertson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/23/2018 at 11:20
Dear Ed,
    I was playin' .45 golf on the North forty the other day and made one o' them perfect shots, which sailed that ball clean outa sight and over the hedge row next to the road that runs back to Fortis and Mabel's place.
     Wouldn't you know it, Mabel was drivin' into town on her bi-weekly grocery shoppin' spree and that dadburn golf ball lodged smack dab in the middle of her windshield.
     Now me and Fortis is real good pals and we worked out a deal where I'll replace the windshield with the one out o' that '69 Ford I've had parked down at the crick for awhile and throw in the rest of the car so it'll be handier for Fortis to come and get spare parts, just as soon as I cut that tree growin' through the floorboard and out the back window.
Ok, those trees.
    Now things is fine with me and Fortis, but Mabel is friends with my mother-in- law and that... anyhow, she talked Mabel into not buyin' extra bread down at the day- old bread store and droppin' it off for my wife, just to jam me up with the ol' lady.

Now, I really am in big trouble.
What can i do?
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
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Joined: June/18/2011
Location: TEXAS
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/23/2018 at 13:07
Tell your wife that you're constipated and probably should lay off the bread for awhile......


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Joined: June/18/2011
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Points: 101110 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/01/2018 at 05:59





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Joined: February/13/2008
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Points: 23109 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/04/2019 at 20:05
Dear Ed,
 You were going to read the novella "The Marching Morons" so we could have an intellectual discussion on science fiction as a predictor of "the future" (now current times).  Are you so old you forgot... or did you forget how to read???

Still Waiting In Alabama...
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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