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OT Coffee House, Part V

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Chief Sackscratch

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SVT_Tactical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 08:42
Little Johnny meets Barack Obama...




Barack Obama was visiting a primary school in North Carolina and he visited a fourth grade class. They were in the middle of a
discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a
'tragedy.'

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that
would be a tragedy."

"No," said Obama, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained Obama. "That's what we would call great loss."

The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand.




The teacher held her breath.


In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Obama. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"




The teacher fainted!
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SVT_Tactical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 09:16
TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMA'S
HEALTH CARE PLAN:


(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day."
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a
typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is "Embalming."
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape

"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SVT_Tactical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 09:20
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DCAMM94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 09:50
Originally posted by SVT_Tactical SVT_Tactical wrote:

Little Johnny meets Barack Obama...




Barack Obama was visiting a primary school in North Carolina and he visited a fourth grade class. They were in the middle of a
discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a
'tragedy.'

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that
would be a tragedy."

"No," said Obama, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained Obama. "That's what we would call great loss."

The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand.




The teacher held her breath.


In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Obama. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"




The teacher fainted!

Excellent
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives, I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement. -Winston Churchill
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 10:34
Originally posted by SVT_Tactical SVT_Tactical wrote:

Well boys, another fox bite the dust last night.  Called him in with the call and stuck him with an arrow this time.  I put the call up on a low hanging branch again and climbed onto the top of a shed and waited, he came running and almost climbed the dang tree.  Stuck him from 42 yds.  He never moved. Big Grin


Congrats. That's a long poke (with an arrow) at a relatively small target.
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DCAMM94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 11:08
Nice shot, Graham.  Pics?
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives, I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement. -Winston Churchill
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SVT_Tactical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 11:22
no pics.  I do have several hides drying now though.  Going to accumulate what I kill this fall for a project.
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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show me your sheep!!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 11:45
Ghetto coat?
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 13:48
Man purse?
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SVT_Tactical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 14:14
Think more "mankini" Bucky
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DCAMM94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 15:00
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives, I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement. -Winston Churchill
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 17:04
a Fox fur blanket to roll around on in front of the fireplace with the Mrs?
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2013 at 17:07
Originally posted by bugsNbows bugsNbows wrote:

Originally posted by Peddler Peddler wrote:

Ric, paradise is lost, Florida moved north today it got to 92* F'N degrees here.


GROSS. Hang in there Skip, next week it will be back in the 40's at night (probably)! Hopefully, when I get up in Nov. there will have been several nice frosts and then I can enjoy the weather. I'm putting my order in for some snow also. Whatcha think???



I'll say a prayer for you. That's a special deer season prayer.
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2013 at 05:37
    What happens when you get Blonde Genies?


A white guy picks up a lamp that he finds on the beach and gives it a rub.....

Two blonde genies appear and tell him he's been granted three wishes.............

He makes 3 wishes and the Genies disappear........

He wakes up in a golf-course mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women.......

After he makes love to all of them he starts to explore the mansion.......

He feels something soft under his feet and sees the floor is covered with $100 dollar bills......

Then there's a knock at the door............

He opens the door to find two persons dressed in KKK outfits. They drag him outside throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead........

As the Klansmen are walking awaythey remove their hoods and  it's  the 2 Blonde Genies..............




One Blonde Genie says to the other I can understand his wishes for all those women and money............




But why he wanted to be hung like a black guy is beyond me !!!!!!!     

When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peddler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2013 at 05:38
Mornin' all.


Howdy
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Son of Ed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2013 at 05:49
Visit the Ed Show
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2013 at 05:56
which one are you Ed?  The one with scratching fleas?
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SVT_Tactical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2013 at 06:12
Morning all
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2013 at 06:59
Morning Captain Scratch...
 
That boat actually looks to be in amazing shape for its age...
 
Hope the transom is solid and no soft spots in floor... the rest should be cosmetic.
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Chief Sackscratch

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SVT_Tactical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2013 at 07:15
so far its looking good. motor mans coming this saturday
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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