Visit the SWFA.com site to check out our current specials. |
Dear Ed.... |
Post Reply | Page <1 3456> |
Author | |
budperm
Optics Retard show me your sheep!! Joined: January/01/2009 Location: Pennsylvania Status: Offline Points: 31710 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Take two AK-47s and call him in the morning....
|
|
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson |
|
3_tens
Optics Jedi Master Joined: January/08/2007 Location: Oklahoma Status: Offline Points: 7853 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Now that's funny.
|
|
Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.
Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow Now the rules have changed again. |
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
" Get some black rubber underpants and swim fins! " |
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Alan Robertson
Optics Master Joined: October/31/2009 Location: Oklahoma Status: Offline Points: 1763 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Dear Ed,
My wife asked me that if she died and I got remarried, would I give her car to my new wife? I told her, "No, she's got a Mercedes convertible". Now, I'm in a jam. What can I do? |
|
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
|
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
" Tell her that you were eating peyote and thought she wanted a new convertible..." |
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
" ....then go down to the bank and crawl..." |
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Kickboxer
MODERATOR Moderator Joined: February/13/2008 Status: Offline Points: 23679 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
I've read that book... "Die Lehren des Don Juan" Carlos Castaneda |
|
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.
There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living |
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
yes...Carlos Casta-Frauda.....
|
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Alan Robertson
Optics Master Joined: October/31/2009 Location: Oklahoma Status: Offline Points: 1763 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Dear Ed,
Thanks for the advice, but I don't think it helped much. You see, I was driving home tonight and saw my Mother in law in the driveway and it looked like she was holding a family size jar of Vicks Vaporub in one hand and a creosote fence post in the other. I don't think she saw me before I detoured right quick down the alley behind Billy Bob's place. I ain't goin' home while she's there, what can I do? |
|
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
|
|
bugsNbows
Optics God bowsNbugs Joined: March/10/2008 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 11200 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Go get drunk! Tell Billy Bob Skip (Peddler) says hello.
|
|
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
Anomymous |
|
Peddler
Optics God Joined: July/04/2012 Location: Oswego,NY Status: Offline Points: 13526 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Huh? 🥃
|
|
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.
It is the same when you are stupid. |
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
(...just in case....try to get that Vicks out of her hand and exchange it with Vaseline!! )
|
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Alan Robertson
Optics Master Joined: October/31/2009 Location: Oklahoma Status: Offline Points: 1763 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Dear Ed,
We were having a family dinner and my Mother- in- law kept going on and on about how much she likes her new broom. I couldn't help but ask her what kind of mileage she got and now I'm in real trouble. What can I do? |
|
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
|
|
BeltFed
Optics Retard Joined: February/12/2008 Location: Ky Status: Offline Points: 22284 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Ed, I don't know if this will help Alan, but Gina at Knob Creek Range gives broom driving lessons by appointment. You might recommend that if you think it's needed, but I yield to the experts.
|
|
Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
|
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
" Get her something from Fredrick's of Hollywood! " |
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
"....and a DVD of TOP GUN! " |
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Alan Robertson
Optics Master Joined: October/31/2009 Location: Oklahoma Status: Offline Points: 1763 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Dear Ed,
I was playin' .45 golf on the North forty the other day and made one o' them perfect shots, which sailed that ball clean outa sight and over the hedge row next to the road that runs back to Fortis and Mabel's place. Wouldn't you know it, Mabel was drivin' into town on her bi-weekly grocery shoppin' spree and that dadburn golf ball lodged smack dab in the middle of her windshield. Now me and Fortis is real good pals and we worked out a deal where I'll replace the windshield with the one out o' that '69 Ford I've had parked down at the crick for awhile and throw in the rest of the car so it'll be handier for Fortis to come and get spare parts, just as soon as I cut that tree growin' through the floorboard and out the back window. Ok, those trees. Now things is fine with me and Fortis, but Mabel is friends with my mother-in- law and that... anyhow, she talked Mabel into not buyin' extra bread down at the day- old bread store and droppin' it off for my wife, just to jam me up with the ol' lady. Now, I really am in big trouble. What can i do? |
|
"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"
|
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Tell your wife that you're constipated and probably should lay off the bread for awhile......
|
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Son of Ed
Chuck Norris Joined: June/18/2011 Location: TEXAS Status: Offline Points: 122166 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
|
|
Visit the Ed Show
|
|
Kickboxer
MODERATOR Moderator Joined: February/13/2008 Status: Offline Points: 23679 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Dear Ed,
You were going to read the novella "The Marching Morons" so we could have an intellectual discussion on science fiction as a predictor of "the future" (now current times). Are you so old you forgot... or did you forget how to read??? Still Waiting In Alabama...
|
|
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.
There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living |
|
Post Reply | Page <1 3456> |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |