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Government handouts

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3_tens View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 3_tens Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Government handouts
    Posted: August/13/2008 at 21:30

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull, gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... 'You know how I work. You have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this,' said t he cowboy. 'I'm not going to trust an IRS genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The cow boy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.

'OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. He is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'

***POOF***

He turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached

Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.
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Dogger View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dogger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/14/2008 at 07:17
Always, always, strings attached!
God save the Empire!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Steelbenz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/14/2008 at 12:06
EEEEEUUWWWWWW!!!!
"Don't argue with a fool! From a distance you can't really tell who's who!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/14/2008 at 15:11
Yikes. Gross but funny at the same time.
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeltFed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/14/2008 at 15:42
Laugh%20AboveRoll%20on%20Floor%20Laughing
Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cheaptrick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/14/2008 at 16:28

I didn't see that one coming!! Excellent

Good one!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/19/2008 at 23:26
Nor did I want to...
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mercenary1947 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 10:25
 That is funny !!!!!!  Good one !
One Shot One Kill .... *S.O.F * Head Shots Only
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ed Connelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 10:48
" Oh....excuser me...I thought this said government ' hangout'.....sorry...."
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cyborg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 12:00
That is ......Well it's funny, yet so disturbing.... The whole string thing just has me all in the red.
With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other

An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 12:28
Kind of like Teddy's face?????
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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