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Union Threaten STRIKE |
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3_tens
Optics Jedi Master Joined: January/08/2007 Location: Oklahoma Status: Offline Points: 7853 |
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Posted: November/17/2010 at 07:30 |
news bulletin from London - - - LONDON -- Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike this week in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with al-Qaida have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last week when al-Qaida announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 20 per cent this September, to 60 from 72. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth." Speaking from his shed in the West Midlands , in which he currently resides, al-Qaida chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but al-Qaida is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." Spokespersons for the Union in the northeast of England , Ireland , Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway." Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has decreased with the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise |
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Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.
Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow Now the rules have changed again. |
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SVT_Tactical
MODERATOR Chief Sackscratch Joined: December/17/2009 Location: NorthCackalacky Status: Offline Points: 31233 |
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Wrong and funny at the same time
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Dogger
Optics Jedi Master Joined: January/02/2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Status: Offline Points: 8902 |
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Is that a real news report?????
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God save the Empire!
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Hatari
Optics Apprentice Joined: September/15/2010 Status: Offline Points: 92 |
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Dogger
Optics Jedi Master Joined: January/02/2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Status: Offline Points: 8902 |
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Now don't be hasty Hatari, we can hope.
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God save the Empire!
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Ed Connelly
Optics Retard God of no Chihuahua Joined: December/16/2007 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 24225 |
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" Well, I guess a ham sandwich is out of the question...."
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BeltFed
Optics Retard Joined: February/12/2008 Location: Ky Status: Offline Points: 22284 |
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Doing my part to be a Union Blaster........er........I mean.............Buster
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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
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tman1965
Optics Master Joined: July/20/2010 Location: South Georgia Status: Offline Points: 1456 |
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cute....
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Sometimes my tongue outruns my brain and I say something I haven't thought of yet!
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